Aja

The first

One moment

We make love

 

Perfect flesh

Screaming life

Breasts formed to suckle the earth

 

Eyes

Taking in

Looking through

 

Soft

Moving

Controlling

Giving in

 

Many moments later

Maybe lifetimes

Or a segment of a life

 

I had seen her

Recently

Twice before

 

Once

She cut my hair

Small talk

Beating of

Around bushes

It was nice

 

The last time

She was leaving

A bar

She gave me a hug

Said she wasn’t doing well

 

Next moment

Many passed

The one before

I received a phone call

Bearer of bad news

She has lost time

 

Once

Long before

Pillow talk

Random conversation

She showed the gun

A gift from her father

He had shown her how to use it

For protection

 

She was a strong girl

Almost like she had armor

Well protected

Her shield and what it protected were beautiful

 

All armor

Any shield

Whenever there is a need

To protect deeply

There is a proclivity for weakness

The one who made the armor

Knows that weakness best

 

Armor can be made

Of many heavy things

Armor of the mind

Is

Without question

The most arduous to carry

 

A shield

Can in time

Turn to armor

And

To a fortress

Protecting from the outside

And holding one inside

From the out

 

Before the phone call

I could have sat

As I now sit

Thinking what she might be doing

Walking

Washing someone’s hair

Spending time with someone she loves

Random things

 

When I received the phone call

It had been a long while

Since I had thought of her at all

 

I guess it happened

A day or so before

It happened

Beyond my realm of realization

 

She was so beautiful

So god damned attractive

That she couldn’t

Hold her fortress

When the world around her

Came

 

Life was so attracted to her

It came flooding

Through the gates

Like gravity

Life pressed in

Heavy

From all sides

 

A fortress can not be held up

With one hand

From deep within

The glass walls

She reached for life

She let out a scream

That went

Unheard

 

With her last grasp

At the life outside

She found her protection

The walls were dissolved

From within

 

When I received the call

There was no life

No

Warm

Perfect skin

No walking

No lying in bed

It didn’t matter

To her

That over a day had passed

From her last moment

To the moment

I knew of her last

 

It didn’t matter

Because for her

That time had not passed

 

The second

At her wake

Time passed slowly

Her car was parked outside

I had a long time

To look

The line was 25 deep

Outside the door

And growing

It streamed inside

Through the entry

Down the hall

Snaking back on itself

The whole length

Flowing

Between rows of chairs

To the front of the parlor

 

I stood in line

For an hour and a half

An hour and a half

Amongst moments

That stood still

 

It was a gray day

And the grayness traveled

Through to the front

Of the line

 

Her parents

And her brothers

Did their best

To hold strong

Brighten it

With smiles

Handshakes

Hugs

 

In each of them

I saw a little of her

How they stood

In their hands

The corners of their mouths

The eyes

 

At the end

Of the line

The front

The beginning

Were her pictures

 

She had the most remarkable smile

Her eyes blazed

When the corners of her mouth

Turned up

 

Her smile

Is what I remember most from the pictures

It’s what I remember most

In my minds blazing eye

 

The chink

In her armor

The keeper of her moments

The end